Key Strategies to Help in Family Crises

The demands for effective crisis management manifest in myriad situations. In this article I present a vignette regarding a how crises may be presented in a familial situation. I further outline some of the methodologies, suggests strategies for alleviating the crisis, offer teachable coping skills the therapist may share with in familial crisis situations to provide a greater resiliency.

The Crisis Vignette

Debra is a 13 year who was raised by her parents in a very upscale neighborhood. The family is well known in the community, attends church regularly, and is perceived by many as the perfect family. Her dad is a deeply involved in politic and is a high ranking official in government, an ardent community activist, and an outspoken individual who prides himself and being a great father and faithful husband. Her mum is a pediatrician and enjoys a phenomenally successful private practice and is a highly sought after speaker at youth development conferences. This week a call was received by Debra’s mother informing her that Debra was 6 weeks pregnant.

The crisis in this scenario is that of teenage pregnancy. Debra’s parents are churchgoers, but not practice or live out their faith. They are seeking therapy to determine what may have caused Debra to get involved in a sexual relationship with a 15-year boy from her high school. They have also indicated that they would like to abort the pregnancy, since in their opinion, Debra’s life would be over if she brings a child into the world at such a tender age. In today’s culture the topic of abortion has become one of the most controversial topics of the present age. 

How should a Christian professional therapist manage such a crisis from moral, ethical and theological perspectives? Support groups are often a means through which difficult crises may sometimes be navigated. In this case, the support group consists of a combination of parents who are in a similar position as well as those who have overcome similar challenges. According to Jacobs, Masson, Harvill and Schimmel (2012), “Support groups enable members to learn that other people struggle with the same problems, feel similar emotions, and think similar thoughts” (p. 15). With respect to Debra, a therapist may propose to facilitate a combination of individual and group counseling sessions for teenage mothers as well as those teenage girls who are pregnant. 

Alleviating the Crisis

The initial individual counseling sessions conducted with Debra revealed she was suffering from depression and engaging in attention-seeking behavior. According to Wright (2011), “Acting out in an attempt to deal with depression has purposes for the teenager” (p. 398). In short, Debra’s decision to get involved in a sexual relationship stemmed from a desire to get greater attention from her parents. It was a cry for help. Wright (2011) further notes concerning such behavior, “The behavior may also be manifested by a person who does not have much impulse control, and this in itself is a cry for help” (p. 398).

So, what are some of the possible interventions to be taken aimed at alleviating these crises? Primarily is the need to create a safe environment for Debra, one in which she feels comfortable communicating with her therapist. In this regard, her earlier sessions, letter writing may be used to draw out Debra’s inner wounds and pain. Creative exercises that also engage in narrative therapy and journaling her thoughts and feelings. Such exercises may ably be supported with soft voice tones, intentional non-threatening eye contact, and body movements which encourage intense sharing.

Lastly, a number of key group counseling skills may be utilized in both the parent and teenage sessions. However, working with adolescents requires considerable empathy and authenticity. Jacobs et al. (2012) assert, “A group leader working with adolescents should like and respect teenagers, want to learn more about their immediate world, and understand the kinds of struggles they go through while trying to grow up” (p. 422). In this regard, group members may engage and be drawn out more through “the use of therapeutic rounds” (p. 352), specifically by allowing Debra, the working member, to use the other group members as sounding boards. In essence, all group sessions may be used to support and encourage.

Teaching Coping Skills

A number of coping skills come into focus for both pregnant teenagers as well as their parents. Having conducted individual and group counseling sessions with Debra, it became evident that Debra and her parents had some major interpersonal communication issues. In this situation, the therapist should take time and patience to teach them about effective communication. The therapist may also let them know that it is imperative that they all focus less on being heard and give greater attention to developing their listening skills. For example, they may be coached not to be prepared to respond to a statement too quickly, but to seriously ponder on what Debra is speaking in the present moment. 

Debra and her parents may be coached on two key communication nuances namely empathetic listening and dialogic listening, which indirectly promote heightened sensitivity and empathy. In short, can be coached on how to improve their focus and to shift their focus away from self to the person or persons communicating the message. As adults, Debra’s parents may also be coached on how to help Debra cope with her pregnancy, considering that such a young pregnancy constitutes trauma. Wright (2011) advises, “An abundance of them need to be encouraged, just to be patient with themselves” (p. 340). “They need to know it’s all right to feel and express feelings” (p. 340). 

Debra’s parents may also be coached about the importance giving Debra a voice. In other words, questions such as, “How does Debra feel about her pregnancy? Does she think she can cope with the pregnancy at this time and resume her education later? What are the spiritual implications of abortion?” Posing such questions to Debra’s parents may allow the therapist to offer some crisis counseling from a ministerial perspective? In fact, this crisis situation may create an opportunity for Debra’s parents to rekindle their Christian faith.

Developing Resiliency

Developing resilience is a critical aspect of crisis counseling, even more so in children and adolescents. According to Floyd (2008), “Children are both fragile and resilient. Caregivers and adults who work with children must recognize the importance of the love and care given to children following a crisis or traumatic event” (p. 205).

In Debra’s crisis, she needs the love, care, and support of her parents now more than ever. God, having providentially created the opportunity to share the love of Christ with Debra’s parents, may move in their hearts to change their minds about insisting that Debra have an abortion. In fact, the Holy Spirit may move in their hearts to such an extent to shoer their daughter with unconditional love and affection.

Identity Formation

Identity formation is a critical component of teenage overall development. Floyd (2008) agrees, “One of the main tasks of the adolescent years is developing a sense of identity” (p. 209). A strong and vibrant self-concept buttresses the development of resiliency. Introducing Debra’s parents to the writings of child development expert David Elkind may be another option. Floyd (2008) discusses two nuances touted by Elkind as pathways to adolescents” “the first is the pathway of integration” and "the second is one of substitution” (p. 210).

Developing resilience from crisis or trauma requires above average commitment, a secure self-concept, and a purpose-driven philosophical approach to life. Wright (2011) surmises it this way, “When youth are disillusioned by a crisis, they need to reestablish commitment bonds, increase their self-esteem and find purpose in life” (p. 403). Likewise, Floyd (2008) contends, “Identity development is thus a central task of adolescents, and it may be affected when a teen experiences a crisis or trauma” (p. 210). 

References

Floyd, S. (2008). Crisis counseling: A guide for pastors and professionals. Grand Rapids: Kregel Publications.

Jacobs, E. E., Masson, R. L., Harvill, R. L., Schimmel, C. J. (2012). Group counseling: Strategies and skills. (7th ed.). Belmont: Brooks/Cole.

Wright, H. N. (2011). The complete guide to crisis & trauma counseling: What to do and say when it matters most. Ventura: Regal.