Understanding the Differences Between Emotional and Physical Infidelity

The discovery of an affair is one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. Cheating is often thought of purely as a physical affair, but emotional infidelity can be just as damaging, if not more so. At Leadership Empowerment and Psychological Services, LLC (LEAPS Inc.), our trained professionals assist individuals and couples in Orlando and Tampa in understanding, handling, and recovering from emotional and sexual affairs using evidence-based, culturally sensitive therapy.

This article discusses significant distinctions between emotional and physical infidelity, the psychological and relational implications of each, and how working with a couples counselor, marriage therapist, or therapist who specializes in trauma may be able to promote trust and wellness again.

Infidelity Defined: Emotional Vs. Physical

The conventional definition of betrayal is the violation of interpersonal trust; however, this definition appears incomplete in terms of understanding what cheating and infidelity embody. But really, what is cheating anyway? It can be very subjective, depending on individual and social perception.

What is Emotional Infidelity?

Emotional Cheating. While having sexual relations with a person other than the one you just had dinner with is far more discreet, it doesn’t necessarily make cheating any less prevalent. Emotional infidelity is what happens when the intimacy in the relationship is given to someone who is not a part of the dynamic. Emotional affairs have several standard features:

Excessive texting, calling, or messaging
Confiding in someone more than your partner
Hiding communication from your partner
Comparing the third party favorably to your spouse
Emotional reliance on someone outside the relationship

According to a study published in The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, nearly 60% of individuals in committed relationships reported forming deep emotional connections with someone other than their partner, suggesting that emotional affairs are more common and more ambiguous than many assume.

What is Physical Infidelity?

Physical infidelity, on the other hand, typically involves sexual contact or intimacy with someone outside the relationship. This may include:

Kissing
Sexual touching
Sexual intercourse
Ongoing physical relationships outside the primary partnership

Here, I think it is more clear-cut and less culturally specific. Physical cheating is more universally accepted as something that has crossed relationship boundaries.

What Emotional and Physical Cheating Does to Your Relationships

Although both types of betrayal can result in feelings of betrayal, shame, anger, and grief, they tend to present differently in couples therapy or individual counseling.

The Psychological Effects of Emotional Cheating

Emotional affairs can be even more damaging to the emotional structure of the relationship. The consequences most frequently reported are:

Erosion of trust and intimacy
Feelings of inadequacy or emotional abandonment
Anxiety, depression, or PTSD-like symptoms
Increased relationship conflict and confusion

Unlike the physical act of cheating, emotional adultery is characterized by repeated mental comparisons, which wreak havoc on the betrayed partner’s self-esteem. For individuals in Orlando or Tampa experiencing this issue, modalities such as Attachment-Based Family Therapy or Emotionally Focused Therapy can address the underlying causes and heal the emotional injury.

Physical Infidelity’s Psychological and Physical Consequences

Physical cheating often brings immediate emotional distress, but it can also result in:

Sexual health concerns (e.g., STIs)
Heightened levels of anger, jealousy, and resentment
Immediate breakdown of trust
Public embarrassment if exposed

Partners that are impacted by physical infidelity may want to consider trauma-focused therapies such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) if they experience symptoms of PTSD or intrusive thoughts will continue to benefit.

Sliding Into Emotional Affairs Is Common

Friendship can veer into emotional territory when boundaries are unclear. Studies by Dr. Shirley Glass, a psychologist and an infidelity expert, have shown that emotional affairs are the forerunners of physical affairs, at least that’s how the person having the affair portrays it.

Time spent together increases
Partners begin hiding the relationship
The emotional connection surpasses the intimacy in the primary relationship.

In our work at LEAPS Inc., we often help clients establish healthy relational boundaries, identify emotional vulnerabilities, and explore patterns that contributed to the infidelity, without blame or shame.

Signs You or Your Partner May Be Experiencing Emotional Infidelity

Here are some warning signs that emotional infidelity may be occurring:

You’re texting or messaging someone more than your partner
You hide details of the friendship from your partner
You fantasize about being with the other person
You feel emotionally closer to them than to your spouse
You become defensive or secretive about your interactions

The sooner these patterns can be identified, the more chances couples have to intervene, ideally with marriage counseling or relationship therapy, before a connection gets sexual or does significant emotional damage.

Why Cheating Doesn’t Have to Kill a Relationship

Many couples, even if they believe that it’s impossible for them, do not break up over infidelity, be it of the sexual or emotional variety. Some find that the affair gives way to explicit, honest conversations, renewed commitment, and healing.

At Leadership Empowerment and Psychological Services, LLC, we counsel many couples who decide to recover from a betrayal. Using healing techniques such as:

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for restoring attachment
Internal Family Systems (IFS) for addressing inner conflicts
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for aligning values and behaviors

Therapy can help both partners understand why the betrayal occurred, what they need to rebuild, and how to forgive each other or themselves.

Role of Therapeutic Process in Recovery from Infidelity

Whether it’s emotional or sexual, infidelity leaves wounds that alone would take work to heal. It’s the safety and scaffolding of therapy that help with pain processing, intention clarification, and the gradual restoration of trust.

What Marriage Counseling Can Do:

Help couples identify unmet emotional needs
Re-establish communication and boundaries
Guide forgiveness (if desired)
Explore deeper patterns and attachment styles
Provide actionable tools to prevent future betrayals

Therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) can also reduce the emotional reactivity that often follows the discovery of an affair.

For Individuals

If you’re the betrayed or betraying partner, individual therapy can help address:

Guilt, shame, or anger
Self-esteem issues
Childhood or attachment traumas
Compulsive behaviors
Symptoms of depression or anxiety

Narrative therapy, psychoanalysis therapy, and trauma-focused therapy can help examine oneself more deeply.

Infidelity: The Power of Faith and Culture in the Experience of Betrayal

For others, it’s their spiritual values or cultural pressures that shape the way infidelity is understood and addressed. At LEAPS Inc., clinicians offer culturally sensitive (and, when applicable, Christian-informed) processing to respect the client’s spiritual beliefs and values.

We recognize that for every client in Orlando, Tampa, or elsewhere, there are diverse views and values regarding marriage, gender roles, and forgiveness.

One Night of Trauma and Infidelity affects so many others!

If the finding or uncovering of infidelity causes panic, flashbacks, nightmares, or emotional numbness, you may have what is known as relationship trauma. This isn’t uncommon, especially among clients who have a history of:

Childhood neglect or abuse
Past betrayal in adult relationships
Abandonment fears

Therapeutic modalities such as EMDR, IFS, or Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) are highly effective in addressing the trauma aspects of betrayal and re-establishing emotional safety.

Orlando and Tampa: Accessing Relationship Help Locally

If you’re located in Orlando or Tampa, Leadership Empowerment and Psychological Services, LLC offers in-person and virtual therapy to help you navigate the complexities of infidelity and relationship repair.

Our licensed mental health professionals offer a wide range of services, including:

We also provide an eclectic selection of therapeutic methods, including Adlerian Therapy and Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), tailored to your personal needs on each day.

Cheating Doesn’t Necessarily Signal the End

Both emotional and sexual infidelity are egregious violations of trust, but it doesn’t have to spell the end of a relationship or, therefore, the erosion of your mental health. The right way, with science-based support that is empathetic, people and couples are indeed learning how to reconcile and heal, and as a result, grow and build lives again.

LEAPS Inc. is a resource available to assist you on your journey toward emotional and relational health, whether you need assistance in healing from betrayal, trauma, or simply gaining clarity.

Ready to Heal? Contact LEAPS Inc. Today

Rebuild with Purpose

Adultery hurts, but you don’t have to go through it alone. At Leadership Empowerment and Psychological Services, LLC, in Orlando and Tampa, our therapists are ready to assist you in your time of need with personalized, respectful, and professional care.